Every year, we make resolutions for ourselves, whether they be to lose weight, quit smoking, improve relationships or learn how to do something new. Yet if you are like most people, you can probably admit that while you are making that firm commitment to your self-improvement(s), there is a little voice somewhere in your mind saying "It's not going to last." You may even joke about it openly, saying "My New Year's resolution is to get back into shape. We'll see how well I do. lol"
That little voice is the voice of lingering doubt or self-limiting belief that resides in your subconscious mind, and unfortunately, it's stronger than any conscious mind commitment you may make with full determination on New Year's Eve.
Believe it or not, you make thousands of little decisions every day, and almost all of those decisions are done subconsciously. For example, do you consciously decide which tooth to brush next or does your mind wander to other thoughts while your hand and mouth work "automatically" with each other to clean your teeth? A smoking client once told me that he would start driving to work and within a minute, a lit cigarette would magically show up in his hand.
The decisions we make subconsciously are pre-programmed and solidly in place. We have developed those decisions and routines throughout our life experience, and they will continue to function just as they always have unless we work to make improvements to them.
When we make a New Year's resolution, we do so with our conscious mind and rely on willpower to see it through. Unfortunately, will power is also a part of the conscious mind. If your willpower-driven resolution is in conflict with something that your subconscious mind believes to be important, your conscious resolution doesn't have much hope to succeed.
So what can you do about this? The following is a list of strategies you can use to involve your subconscious mind and get it to adopt your resolution(s):
1. Imagine an image, vision, concept or idea of what you and / or your life would be like 6 months from now when you hold on to your resolution. Involve all of your senses. If you want to quit smoking, can you imagine yourself smelling better? Would food taste better? Would you feel happier not being controlled by something? What would you do with the money you save from not buying cigarettes?
2. Involve your emotions. Every habit you have is a habit because it gives you some emotional benefit. Let's say you want to eat less and eat healthier, but that ice cream is really hard to ignore. Ask yourself "What emotional benefit does that ice cream give me?" If you do this seriously and pay attention to whatever thoughts come to mind, you'll be amazed at the answers you come up with. Keep asking yourself about the emotional benefit. If your first answer is "taste", that's not an emotion. Ask yourself, "What's important emotionally about that taste?"
Let's say for example that as you continue to explore your thoughts, you realize the taste of the ice cream reminds you of when you were a kid and some grown up gave you ice cream to cheer you up or show you love. What is important about that? Why did that mean so much at that point in time? Perhaps it was because you were upset with yourself or disappointed or felt forgotten. When that loved one gave you that ice cream, you felt loved and cared for. Now as an adult, whenever you feel insecure or stressed, your subconscious mind says "It's time for ice cream." Why wouldn't it say that? Chances are you made a subconscious connection between ice cream and feeling loved and secure way back when you were a child, and nothing has ever happened at a subconscious level to change that emotional connection.
3. Select an image, sound or texture to put in your way so that you will see it, hear it and / or feel it several times per day. This image, sound or texture should symbolize the emotional importance or your resolution.
A few years ago, I looked down and noticed that my belly somehow magically got a little bigger than I was used to seeing it. To involve my emotional subconscious mind in helping me change that condition, I took a picture of that shirtless belly and made it the wallpaper on my smart phone. Every time I used my phone for anything, there it was, staring right back at me! Was it embarrassing when other people saw it? Yes. Yes, it was. Get the idea?
4. Finally, you need to use a magic word as strongly as you can. That magic word is "Why?" Why is this resolution important to you? If your "Why" is stronger than whatever "addiction" you wish to overcome, your resolution has a very strong chance of succeeding.
I once met a couple at a seminar who told me their story. They had been involved in a network marketing company for several years, and even though this opportunity was spawning millionaires all around them, they never did much with it. Then their son was born with multiple life-threatening issues. His medical care would take hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep him alive and give him a chance at living a happy life. Guess what they did?
Your "why" doesn't have to be nearly that severe, and I certainly hope it isn't. However, your "why" should be what is emotionally important to you and you alone. If you want to lose weight because you "should" or because your spouse wants you to, that's not going to cut it. If you want to lose weight so that you have energy to play with your children when they want you to, that could be a good "why".
Whatever your resolution may be, I wish you all the best in making the changes you want to make in 2014!